Becoming a parent in one of the most overwhelming things a person can take on their life. That's why Scott and I took sooooo long in deciding whether we would have kids or not. We really, and I mean really, like our singleton lifestyle. We get along pretty well, we laugh a lot together, we do whatever we want, whenever we want. So, we thought, why mess that up with a bunch of kids, right?
So, when I was about 27, one of my friends had a baby around Easter. I was like, "oh, no." Those things are not for me. I was thinking to myself--I can't imagine having that kid around every Easter, let alone everyday of the week. Clearly, I wasn't ready for kids.
We also decided by the age of 30 we would come to a conclusion if we would have kids in our marraige. By 30, we were still saying no, but let's give it another year.
Then, it happen. I'm not sure if my mothering instincts just started kicking into high gear or what, but we decided to start our adoption process. One child at first then we added another several weeks later.
I'm overwhelmed at the thought of two little ones running around in this house. I'm overwhelmed by my three and a half page packing list of "stuff" we need to take to Ethiopia to pick them up (Scott says it feels like we're moving to Ethiopia). I'm overwhelmed that I have a racist brother and I'm adopting two black children.
But...I learned many lessons in the ten years of deciding whether to have children or not. I learned to be flexible when kids run screaming around my classroom and that I need to count to 10 before reacting. I learned I have people who I can rely on eventhough I want to do everything myself because that's the type of person I am. I learned there is always going to be racism in the world--it's how we react to it and what we learn from it that helps us become who we are.